I really hate the expression, "What people do in their own bedroom is their own business." When I'm in a relationship, when I'm in love, it infiltrates my ENTIRE life. I am not just in love when we're having sex. I'm in love all the time. I want to talk about my partner like other women talk about their husbands. I want to feel safe holding her ( Read more... )

I have been going through our break up thinking about how you would feel if you knew what I was going through, giving a damn when you don't or can't. I don't want to and honestly don't know if I'll be able to really heal until I know how you are. But you won't let me know. We've been apart for over three, going on four months now. I want to cry ( Read more... )

I'm doing most of my journaling offline now but I had to quote tonight's entry.

"I want one more game of Yahtzee and one more gingerbread house. Thanksgiving is next week. I want you at that table with me.
Instead, when we go around the table and say what we're thankful for, I'm going to say, "The strength to leave."

I still love you. I need you to ( Read more... )

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I have had to go through a lot of my stuff while unpacking. it all has memories. the pictures of us putt-putting are some of my favorite pictures ever. I found your yellow shirt. it smells like the apartment. I held it to my face and could feel you hold me. then there was my brown fleece landsend pull over. I remembered a walk we took one night by ( Read more... )

I have two simultaneous dreams. one is of finding the perfect love. Dancing in the street with giddy laughter kissing in the streetlight kinda love. Moving forward to making cupcakes with our kids, laughing and smiling at each other, then a light kiss over the head of our little daughter or son. a great family life full of joy and togetherness.

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I'm remembering the week of drunken numbness I subjected myself to before I gave up the addicted love of my life... I remember holding Lucy dog during a storm, drunk outta my mind on the same wine I'm sipping now. I miss them, I do, but life is short so here I go... I think.

Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.

I want you to know that I want everything in your life to be perfect for the rest of your life. I want you to know that despite everything, you are amazing, and I want only the very best for you. I want you to love fiercely and to embrace life and live wonderfully! you have been the most amazing thing in my life and I want you to know that though I ( Read more... )

"I set fire to the rain..." I'm desperate to move on from you since I heard you've moved on from me, but it's not happening yet. I think this is going to take going back to church... and a lot of Adele.

Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.

I know this is going to sound shallow but sometimes I am amazed at myself for the courage I seem to find to stand in the downpours of my life. but is strength really being able to stand in the rain? or is it being able to walk head first into the storm knowing what you're doing, knowing that you are about to get pounded by heavy rain and shook to ( Read more... )